Wednesday, February 25, 2009

When my Body is Empty so is my Mind

Hey ~ how's everyone out there in blogging land? What a week! We're into another illness and my body is tired. The in-laws were here and have gone, the laundry is in the machines and Erin has come home sick, so a girl is on the couch- but YES I am on the treadmill- walking slowly! I remind myself how much I need time to focus and regroup- actually what really I need and have been lacking is spiritual food. Prayer and meditation. It makes it so much harder to get through things when my focus is on the tasks and not on the relationships. You know how you just feel like you can't do it- the sitting and being quiet, reading the Words of life- they seem kind of dry. I just want something encouraging to just drop out of the sky without any effort on my own behalf. That's what I want. I want Jesus to do it for me rather than having to be disciplined to pray, and stop and think about the hope I have. I don't want to have perserverance and character, I just want Him to make Himself known to me without me having to go looking. Does He ever do that? Or do I always have to stop and look? Make my mind aware of His presence, so I can know? I know in my mind, that the pursuit is the growth, that the following is the loving, but sometimes I just don't want to. Oh my stubborn heart!

Then when I take even a few seconds, I can list the blessings and the gifts I've been given, even a quick vanilla tea latte this morning with a good friend. We women need our women! They can always lift us up! Keep on girls! (oh ya and the few men that might read this).

Another anticipated blessing... coming up in May... a weekend away with my sister friends!

And KARI, I love you over the miles! See you really soon, the passports are in the mail apparently!

PS. the treadmill says I've walked 1.05 miles and burned 129 calories just wandering through my blogs (good thing since I had a cookie at coffee this morning too)


Randi said...

I think sometimes He does give you glimpses when you're really needing them and can't find the strength to look ... but moreso when we seek His face. Hope health returns to the home and you have some downtime.

"bigcanadiangirl" said...

I agree with Randi. Sometimes something stirs you even when you're purposely not looking (not that I've ever done that).