I totally stole these right off this lady's blog (OK i have searched and cannot find it, but believe me I am not trying to plagarize), but they gave me a good chuckle. No I don't know her, somehow I ended up on her page chasing a recipe or something.
I especially like # 3 and #4 because they are just like my life!
OK I think it's from here, but still can't find it. I tried and will continue to tell my children not to copy off other peoples' work http://beautifulheritage.wordpress.com/